Sitting in 3:41 AM darkness with my back pressed against a cold glass window pane -accompanied by only my laptop, my favorite pen and my seemingly miscellaneous and insignificant notebook-, I am alone. Lonely. Sad. Frustrated. An emotional mess. Tears leaking out of my eyes for reasons even I am not fully aware of. Heart racing but mind is blank – my only clarity and sanity is the sound of my heart beating. It hurts. I’m not even sure what ‘it’ is but my heart just wants to cry. Drowning. Familiarity. Help me but too proud to ask. Its 3:44 AM now and I’m aware of my purple-ing lips but with quivering hands, I welcome the cold. It’s a relief — numbing.