​NaPoWriMo #1/30

STIMULUS: “Someday,” said Bean, “you’re going to need me the way I needed you. And I’ll be there.”

– Orson Scott Card in the novel Enders Shadow (middle-ish of chapter 21)

TIME LIMIT: 1 hour

CONTEXT: What I’d say to be there for someone when they tried but didn’t succeed.


Resist the ruins and humour me;
you need not be so bitter.

Feed your frustrations to your craft.
Transform shame into your fuel.

Inhale, sharply, when it hurts
and then give grief a time limit
and forgive guilt when it comes
because listen:

We
are all wiser with hindsight
but you?

You’ve done
enough.

So bear witness to your best efforts;
they fall but thank you for trying.

 

why not

i am taken by intensity
fierce carelessness
oozes out,
my voice thick with appeal
low.
thrilling.
whispering meaningful nonsense
from knowing half-smirks
fingers,
languidly trace
wild visions from eager breaths
you are collateral damage
for i promised beautiful nothings.
how reckless.

I feel happy

when I feel well-rested.
when I am effortlessly articulate.
when I reconnect with delight

and hold Wonder in my hands.

when I drink a lot of water.
when I feel sharp and move with ease,

instinctive.

when I float around wrapped in the world of ideas and links,

gorgeous language,

good design

and explorative, dynamic conversation
filled with many quiet moments to let the breath catch up.

De light

Certainly, stories and the inspired will leave me one day – it is inevitable. But the mortality of creativity takes me no closer to capital-‘m’ Making, and for that, I am bitter. So scowl I will, I insist.

Moving beyond the ego is necessary for careless but attentive creation but this is terribly difficult. So I must remember: Stories and other charming, wondrous things are not mine; they just happened to, on a whim, come out from me while I work away so we owe each other nothing. It doesn’t need to be grand or meaningful, and nor I burdened and solemn. I need to be light, and it, a delight. I choose to feel decidedly glad about making by curtsying at it before giddily chasing after other bright and alluring things.

Perhaps the way forward is towards words and ideas. An awareness of them colors my day, noticeably deepening my engagement and adding richness, fluidity and soft chuckles to otherwise unspectacular activities.

Yes. Language and ideas: I will seek them out because I deserve delight.